Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
