This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
