ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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