I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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