He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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