I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
