i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
