You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
