I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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