yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
