last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
