This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am puke
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
