I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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