he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
