But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
