OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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