one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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