Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
