can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
