I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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