Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
