The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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