i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
