Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
