I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
