Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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