some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
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Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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