I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
