the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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