Dual....:-)
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
