let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
