he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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