We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
