5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
