apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize