im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
