My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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