Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
