I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
