i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
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Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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