Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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