he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.