how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart