So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.