quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
