just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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