Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
