I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
