I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize