I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
