he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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