i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
