i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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