i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
