vagina is talking i cant
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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