What a fucking waste of an outfit
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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