you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
