Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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