Will you blow on my dice?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
