You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
